I finally sort of found what I was searching for. Or, rather, I figured out what the problem was. Of course, it was me, pebcak. It’s still me. I kinda don’t have much of a clue what I’m doing. I mean, I’m finding my way alright, and this is definitely going to be interesting, but I was basically on the wrong dating site and thinking maybe just nobody wanted me, or the site was just dead, and I just left it alone and didn’t really go anywhere else because that site worked for me the last time however I forgot to consider one variable: the internet changes a lot in six years, which is how long I was with my last sugar daddy. Fucksakes, my site was dead because it got a horrible reputation for ripping off customers and leaking peoples details or whatever so it was pretty much all fake profiles… except for me, LOL… and one guy who kinda wasn’t that serious and kept writing these long winded love notes that I wasn’t about to write long winded replies to for free. Like, dude, fucking pay for my time or fuck off with your senile old nonsense.
I just didn’t invest much time into it because I expected it to happen a lot easier, but my whole attitude was a bit off for a while, I’m in this fucked up city full of these weird ass people. Ugh, if you know where don’t say. I’m really just trying to get to Hawaii or somewhere. It’s fucking cold here too. These people are seriously weird. But I need a sugar daddy, so I need just one of them, who isn’t too much of a fucked up backwards hick, to be my sugar, get to have sex with me, and pay some freaking bills around here, but then go home to wherever it is they live and whatever it is they do all day when we aren’t fucking. Like, I don’t want any of them to be my boyfriend, or try to follow me to Hawaii, and it’s been so fucked up because I was getting like, no response, and since I’ve signed up with Seeking Arrangement, I’ve gotten like, five million responses, which makes a fuck of a lot more sense, and I don’t know why I thought it was something wrong with me in the first place, duh! I’m amazing!!!
Some of my responses are pretty promising, so I’m optimistic, but amongst the lame ones were a bunch of sleazy grimes who want to pay to fuck raw and for me to only be with them, but that’s disgusting and I’m not doing that. It creeps me out that they’d even do that with a stranger and it’s a definite no from me on that nasty shit right there. Hell the fuck no. So, if I’m making any arrangements, I have to make sure I’m straight up and get it in text message that we are using protection. Ugh, some guys are so fucking nasty… like, you don’t do that shit with just anybody that’s so dangerous. Pfft, and they call me bad… at least I care about my health, asshole…
Anyways, so it’s going well even though I haven’t met anyone. I got like thirty replies in day one, which was what I was expecting from the other site. Stupid ass, waste of time EstablishedMen. It worked the last time, Idk. Then Tinder was working well so I stuck with that for a while. I even posted some ads to Backpage, but that was too sleazy for me to go through with so I mostly just chatted with the other girls who had ads. The ones I talked to were really nice and I made some friends.
I thought maybe because I was in my thirties I was getting too old to be a sugar baby, but here’s the thing, I sorta can’t really be much else. I’m an artist and an entertainer. That’s what I am, that’s what I’ve always been. Whether I’m entertaining one man, or five thousand, that’s pretty much all I can do and if I try to do anything else it’s just not going to work out for me. I’ve already tried. I’m a doll baby. I know how to entertain the fuck out of a man. Like you wouldn’t believe. Not just sex either, like to really keep him into me. But you put me in a regular job, I’m just going to wind up trying to fuck the boss and if that doesn’t work, I’m definitely going to get fired. It never fails. I’m that girl. This is where I belong. I don’t even try to work anymore. The only place I was even remotely successful was a nonprofit for breast cancer where the staff was pretty much entirely female. Then they hired a male IT Director and made me his Assistant. Things kinda went a bit crazy after that. Let’s just say that we both got fired…
I haven’t worked since… mostly because I was also kinda fucking this lawyer who worked in the same office tower and he was giving me so much money that I kinda just needed one or two more guys like him in order to survive well in the city, so I went out and found them instead of another job… either online or wherever and being a sugar baby became my life.
For you ladies out there, many guys will want to trap you, make you dependant on them alone, but if you need your bills paid, or need proper dick on the regular, and can’t handle the stress of uncertainty, or being under the controlling whims of a potential stalker/murderer/total asshole, then trust me on this: have two or three. Not only does it make the load lighter for each man, but if one drops off, you will not starve. If you have two or three then no one man can break you with his goodbye. Guys can do the same if they need to. Some of us just can’t handle being hurt. Nothing wrong with having needs and being a bit sensitive.
So yeah, moral of the story, I am not the girl you marry. I know that. You marry the basic girl. The one with the stable job, the college degree, and the status quo opinions on shit, who maybe takes it up the butt when she’s on her rag, but doesn’t quite know or care to know how to suck a dick right, or grind her hips the way that drives you insane when she’s on top… IF she’s on top. The girl you admire, and respect, but not quite the girl who can set your dick on fire with a single look. She tries, though, and it’s real cute and you love her for it. She’s a good girl and a safe bet. Anyways, that’s the girl you marry. I’m the girl you keep secret. I’m the side chick, the matey, the other gal. The one you couldn’t risk it with, but can’t keep away from. That’s the girl I am. I know who I am, and I’m okay with it. I actually like it because I’m a freak like that.
Now come love me… if you can handle it… hehehe
Disclaimer: Not all of this is entirely true, and of course I would never speak of anyone who’s been with me and been a decent private friend to me, but it was fun to write and hella entertaining so…