OMG, I am FREAKING OUT! I just got approved for nude webcam modelling which means that I can basically start masturbating on cam whenever I am ready. I don’t know if I’m ready. All those girls are so young and hot, and I’m thinking my best angle may be to be to let my pubes and armpit hair grow, or maybe be willing to shit my pants on camera, or perhaps that I’m one of the few older women brave enough, or desperate enough, depending on how you read the situation, to give this a serious go. I’ve never done shit like this… on cam, and the truth is, I wouldn’t do it if there wasn’t some angle to get paid, and these cam-streaming sites say that they pay, lots of girls are getting paid and you aren’t really hearing any stories of them ripping girls off, it’s mostly the customers who do that (there’s always that one jerk), so maybe it’ll be a fun way to make some cash… I really love sex and they say you should do what you love. If this doesn’t work out, I can always get a job at GoodLife Fitness or as a virtual assistant or something. Who knows, right?
So, I’m pretty stoked about this, but also kinda nervous because I’m brand new at doing stuff like this on cam. I guess I can forget about having a career in politics, LOL, like that was ever going to happen anyways, but if ever randomly decide get into politics for some reason, I’ll volunteer from the start that I masturbated on cam for money, so what? How is anyone better for doing it for free? That’s just stupid, I’m masturbating anyways, if someone wants to pay to watch and I’m young and need the money, then why the fuck not? Seriously.
I guess my biggest worry is that no one will want to pay to watch – ha!
I should seriously just tell the truth about my age on these websites. I literally just got approved, I haven’t even logged back into any of them yet. But I’m already planning to lie and say I’m thirty when the truth is that I’m… just a tad bit older than that. I know that I’m panicking for nothing, this is like, what I do, I have anxiety problems, but it’s probably going to be totally chill and fun. As soon as I finish writing this I’m going to go log on and see what’s up. Maybe it’ll be totally awesome, and I just need to stop freaking out and think positive. If I wasn’t so broke, I probably never would have tried this, and I’m a total exhibitionist sometimes. Like, I started filming myself in the shower back in 2010 because it’s the place where I feel the most beautiful so maybe this is the perfect job for me and I should stop being such a chicken.
I’ve already started filming myself in the shower again, and filming myself masturbating. I guess maybe I have control issues, but I wanted to see what I looked like before I just started putting myself out there… live in a cam room with hundreds of dudes who could be anywhere in the world, including hiding in my closet with a serrated blade and a real hate-on for women…
The funny thing is, I’m kinda hotter than I realized. I just never really took the time to look for myself. No wonder dudes are so aggressive and pushy. Fucking assholes, but still. Seeing myself kinda look so beautiful, I guess I sort of get it, but it’s still not okay. There is this one video I make of me having an orgasm, and it’s not like the other girls do it. I spent a bit watching some of the cams earlier today, and my video that I made is a bit different, mostly because it’s really quiet. Sometimes I have quiet orgasms and I was kinda nervous because it was my first time using toys on camera, which was kind of exciting in and of itself. The whole situation was really enjoyable and the video is beautiful even though I’m not the most expressive in it, I think… I also probably should have taken off my shirt…
I think I’m going to make the video available for sale on my website. Some of the other girls sign up for sites like Clips4Sale and stuff like that, ModelCentro, and I might do that also, but this is my personal site, and I may as well sell on here also. I like the idea of having something I own where I can do everything my own way and set my own rules. Holy there is so much to figure out. This is only my third website, and none of the others have been very profitable, although the first one lead to an amazingly sweet guy that I had a nice hot fling with and he supported me financially while we were together which is kind of my thing that I’ve always kind of stumbled into. I’m not very good at getting or keeping jobs, but a man I usually have no trouble with, and I’ve never really had to be profitable before since I was basically a sugar baby having fun on the internet, but my sugar daddy isn’t giving me anymore money, he said, so I have to try and start making money at this, or maybe getting a job at GoodLife Fitness… except that they didn’t call me back and I literally never workout at any gyms (my workout looks pretty explicit and I don’t need any equipment and I hate when people stare at me, or worse, follow me out into the parking lot… *shudders*), also kinda scamming people when you’re selling them stuff, knowing that they aren’t going to show up for the actual workouts… I’d be terrible at keeping a poker face and letting them do it. *Dejected sigh*
I’d rather just get paid to masturbate all day, if that’s even remotely possible. Everything else sounds way too complicated and I just want a simple wet, Sweetpussy life. That’s the name of my imaginary porn production company… SweetPussy Productions… I don’t know if I’m going to do this… I’ve thought it out, but maybe I’m just dreaming… It’s my trademark since I came up with it first, and I’m going to have a logo done by the time I post this. I need a new MacBook, mine is really old, so if any Sugar Daddies out there wanna shoot me $3000.00, you could pretty instantly become my number one, and maybe even help advise me if you know wtf I’m supposed to be doing here. Do it NOW!